hannibal reads the news

CHAPTER 1 It was just another Monday for Hannibal. He woke up in his warren, which is where Hamsters live. Earthworms churned throught the soil above him, singing as they left the earth more fertile, by eating it and shitting it. Hannibal liked listening to the Earthworms sing, even if no-one told him he was … Read more

terminator genisys

Terminator is on a roof. John Connor is on the ground and shouting up at him. JOHN Jump, Terminator. Your Terminator legs will protect you from damage. TERMINATOR Negative, Terminator is scared. JOHN You don’t any emotions Terminator, how can you be– TERMINATOR TERMINATOR SCARED. JOHN Terminator we have to go stop Skynet right now … Read more


The following is how the Regular Features team caught Wrestlingmania, and how we used it to kill The Rock. As of 2015, this is WWE canon. SCENE ONE – INTERIOR, THE ROYAL RUMBLE WRESTLING CHANGING ROOM LOG Well here we are boys, inside the Royal Rumble Wrestling changing rooms, where all of the world’s best … Read more

fivers, new

A picture of the new banknote demontrating that it is waterproof, with the Queen saying "I'm wet for pounds" and "spend me on crowns"

Is your business ready to accept the new five pound note? The new five pound note is money, and therefore in your business’ best interests. But you don’t want to throw good money after bad, so it’s important that you’re “on the money” with the new five pound note. After all, you know what they … Read more