fainting

There are many excellent reasons to faint. These include:

  1. You are bleeding out, and you body needs to lower blood pressure to delay death.
  2. The venom has paralysed you, and now the spider is pointing its egg sac into your tear duct and there ain’t nobody got time for that.
  3. You’ve been holding your breath for two hours as part of a melodramatic response to a passenger farting in your car
  4. It’s the 1920s in Manhattan, and you’re one of those guys sat on a girder eating their lunch thousands of feet in the air. It has just occurred to you that if you fell off you’d be fucked

If you faint on a Ghost Train, simply pretend that you fell asleep because it was so relaxing. This will make you seem 115% badass.

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