steve jobs

Are you Steve Jobs? Take this test to find out!


An employee tells you she has devised a new procedure that might save your company hundreds of man-hours every month. Do you:

  1. Congratulate her on her proactivity and consider her for promotion
  2. Shoot her with a crossbow and whisper “Speaking as Steve Jobs, your artless obsession with the mundane is utterly uninspiring to me.” Then get security to put her dying body into a trebuchet, and fire her into a swamp.

You are sending an iMessage to Bono. What does it say?

  1. What the fuck is your problem, you sack of human shit
  2. Hey Bono it’s Steve Jobs here, let’s rub our dicks together until we start a fucking pube fire

The opportunity arises to be kind. Do you:

  1. Seize it
  2. Feel repulsed, knowing that kindness is required only by the weak. Then feel jubilant, knowing that you, Steve Jobs, will never need the help of others, for there is no-one stronger, more complete, and less riddled with cancer than yourself

If you answered mostly 2, then you are probably the deceased cunt, Steve Jobs

[rf episode=”3″]