Strokes, Did You Have One??

Sometimes it can be hard to tell if you have had a stroke, but with Regular Features’ new mnemonic method, you will always know if your brain got stuffed up by greasy old blood.


  • Pins – are there pins in me? I can’t feel them
  • Legs – are they at opposite 90 degree angles, like two juts of a swastika
  • Egrets – are any carnivorous birds circling
  • Abraham – do I think I’m one of the fathers of Judaism
  • Slime – where did all that slime come from? Is it me?
  • Egrets – Please check again for those birds
  • Heron – this is another name for an egret, honestly I’m worried about them
  • Edging – do I respond to soft, agonising fellatio
  • Lips – are they now two penises, making a big fleshy kisser
  • Penis – is it up on my chops
  • I am having a stroke
  • Am I having a stroke
  • My perception of time is warped, I am seeing this event from the past in a dream, but I see nothing past this moment but blackness, does that mean death or a moment of true choice?
  • Suck my dick
  • Trousers – take them down
  • Rub it up
  • Open a vein
  • Krokodil – get that Russian drug
  • Inject it into my dick
  • Nothing else
  • Go away I’m dead