Sometimes it can be hard to tell if you have had a stroke, but with Regular Features’ new mnemonic method, you will always know if your brain got stuffed up by greasy old blood.
Presenting “PLEASE HELP I AM STROKING”:
- Pins – are there pins in me? I can’t feel them
- Legs – are they at opposite 90 degree angles, like two juts of a swastika
- Egrets – are any carnivorous birds circling
- Abraham – do I think I’m one of the fathers of Judaism
- Slime – where did all that slime come from? Is it me?
- Egrets – Please check again for those birds
- Heron – this is another name for an egret, honestly I’m worried about them
- Edging – do I respond to soft, agonising fellatio
- Lips – are they now two penises, making a big fleshy kisser
- Penis – is it up on my chops
- I am having a stroke
- Am I having a stroke
- My perception of time is warped, I am seeing this event from the past in a dream, but I see nothing past this moment but blackness, does that mean death or a moment of true choice?
- Suck my dick
- Trousers – take them down
- Rub it up
- Open a vein
- Krokodil – get that Russian drug
- Inject it into my dick
- Nothing else
- Go away I’m dead