fruity chunks

This is Fruity Chunks, the world’s best entertaining mag. It cost AUD$11.99 for its launch issue, but everyone who attended the second live show was given their very own photocopy for free. If you weren’t in that hot sexy room in Soho, you can still read Fruity Chunks in its entirety here, now, below, hello. … Read more


This sexy spectable was inspired by the mere existence of the Date A Gamer website, which is apparently still a thing. Imagine that gamer spunk bullet coming at you, at lethal speeds. You’d be mad to dodge that succulent lad.

a full blown shart

The lyrics to “A Whole New World”, as co-written and performed with Simon Chong in the second Live Show in the very middle of Soho.


When someone says “do you want me to animate your feature”, you say yes. And if you’re lucky, this happens. The gentleman who animated this belter, Simon Chong, can also be heard literally butchering the part of the Princess in “a full blown shart”, in our second live show. He now works in LA, where … Read more

capability brown’s boys

Everyone knows and loves Lancelot Capability Brown, the man who sounds like some kind of amazing exotic Knight-Cowboy from India, but is in fact a gardener with not much going on in the chin department. But what Capability Brown lacks in chin, he more than makes up for with his extremely green fingers and Bassett … Read more

jones, grace and tom

STEVEHmm, hmm, hmm, washing my hair. Doop de doo. GRACE JONESWork, to the rhythm. STEVEWhuh, hello? GRACE JONESDance, to the rhythm. STEVEWho’s there? GRACE JONESIt’s me Grace Jones, I’m down here darling, I’m inside your plughole. STEVEGrace Jones? In my plughole? How on earth did you get in there? GRACE JONESLove to the rhythm. Well … Read more

Star Trek: Discovery

This script was initially intended to replace Episodes 6 to 12 of the third season of Discovery. Ultimately, it was replaced with something about the Guardian of Forever – like THAT’S a thing – and two episodes about Georgiou, in which she really grew from being a grumpy sass-pot, into an unrepentant torturer of her … Read more

Uptown Squelching

These are the never-before released lyrics to Juicy Susan’s hit single, Uptown Squelching. It reached number one in the 1990s, and is still number one today, thanks to the Stasis Lock she created with a clap of her glistening palms.

Little Women, as pertaining to Big Boys

Hello, I’m Zim Big Bang Theory, and the last time I guested on the podcast you’ll remember that two of my biggest, and therefore best, boys, had been travelling around the circular space station from the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, hang on, yeah, wait – I’ll … Read more